Lottie’s safe space

  • December 6, 2022
12-year-old Lottie* moved into our refuge with her Mum in early 2022, having fled the domestic abuse she’d experienced for most of her young life.

She was initially very shut off from talking about her experiences and was referred to our mentoring service so that she could have a safe space of her own to process what had happened.

Lottie needed some help and guidance in keeping herself safe, especially when out in the community. Having predominantly grown up in and around domestic abuse, she needed help to understand what constitutes a healthy relationship.

She struggled, and still can struggle at times, with the loss of her previous life – extended family, school friends and neighbours.

Our mentor helped Lottie to learn about the local area, pointing her to sports clubs and activities as well as to the schools she could attend.

Lottie found it hard to talk about her experiences and often could not make the connection between how her thoughts and feelings could influence her behaviour. Together our mentor and Lottie worked on learning to recognise what constitutes trauma and how it can manifest, on understanding the 7 stages of grief and loss and on learning about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Lottie loves football and our mentor helped her to join a football club. The Friends of Oasis donated the funds to buy football boots.

What has changed for Lottie?

In her final session, Lottie said that she feels so much calmer and much more settled. She attributed this to having the opportunity to talk to an Oasis mentor, enjoying her football club and new school and the friends she has made at both.

She said that she is very happy living in the refuge and very settled there; she enjoys the company of the other residents and feels that they are a big support to her recovery.

Keira has always been really fun and I knew straight away that I was able to talk to her. Keira has really helped me to feel happier and more settled in my new school and hometown


Lottie is not her real name.

With thanks to a grant from the Colyer Fergusson Charitable Trust, we are now able to offer mentoring support to young people in Medway.

Get support

Call our helpline on 0800 917 9948 (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 09:30–11:30am, 12:30–2:30pm
Thursday and Friday 09:30–11:30am, except bank holidays) or email helpline@oasisdaservice.org (if it’s safe to do so)

If you or your family are in immediate danger please call the police on 999 (if you can’t speak, cough or tap the handset then press 55 on your phone – the police will know it’s an emergency)

In a non-emergency situation, you can call Kent Police on 101.

*All images used on this website are representative. All names are anonymised for people’s safety.

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