Reflecting on three decades of fighting for safety, hope, and healing

  • November 5, 2024
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Earlier this month supporters and volunteers gathered together at the Turner Contemporary in Margate to mark the 30th anniversary of Oasis. Our Head of Income and Engagement, Jo Dawes, looks at the history of refuges for women, our important work and why this milestone wasn’t a ‘celebration’ but more a reminder that our work is as vital now as it was when we launched in 1994.

I don’t want to say we ‘celebrated’ our 30th birthday because ‘celebrate’ feels like an odd word to use when we are talking about spending 30 years working to keep people safe from serious emotional and physical harm and – sometimes – death, at the hands of someone who was meant to love them. But we ‘marked’ our 30th anniversary by bringing together staff, supporters and survivors and talked about what has changed since we opened the doors to our first refuge in Margate in 1994 and the continued need for our work.

We think about how the refuge movement started and we are humbled and proud and amazed at how far we have come. We are also saddened by how far there is still to go. The first refuges were not a planned and ‘professionalised’ intervention but a radical solution to a problem. They were houses for women and children with nowhere else to go and in fact they were overcrowded and often in breach of environmental health regulations as a result. Domestic abuse was seen as a private matter, not seen as an issue for the police, but something to be dealt with behind closed doors. You didn’t wash your dirty linen in public. If the police were called at all, they might say ‘It’s just a domestic’. The early refuges forced domestic abuse out of the shadows and their very existence provided evidence of need. Refuges are now seen as an essential part of our social safety net.

Last year we supported over 100 adults and children in our refuge accommodation because it was not safe for them to remain at home. Often, people arrive with only the clothes they are wearing. Initially, there will be a huge sense of relief –‘ we are finally safe’. But although coming to refuge is a huge and decisive step it is also the beginning of another journey and our Oasis support workers play a vital part in getting someone back on their feet.

Last year our outreach workers also supported 1233 people in the community – most of whom are women – advising them on how to keep safe in their home.  It is estimated that in 90% of domestic abuse incidents, the children are in the same or the next room. We have been talking for years about children witnessing domestic abuse. But actually, children don’t witness abuse – they experience it .And what we know is that the trauma doesn’t go away. Without intervention, children carry the weight of their early experiences into their adult lives and the more time passes, the harder it is for them to unpick what has happened to them.

Our young people’s team offer one to one mentoring, group work and activities for children and young people affected by domestic abuse.

We speak a lot about the terrible impact of domestic abuse, about how the effects can last for years. But we must also speak about hope for the future, about the inspiring survivors who it has been our privilege to work with, walking beside them for a while as they seek a better future for themselves and for their children. Because there is life after domestic abuse.

Thank you to everyone who has played a role in our history. Click here if you would like to be part of our future and make domestic abuse a thing of the past.

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