For the second consecutive year, more people have died by suicide after experiencing domestic abuse than have been killed by their abusive partners. In the year to March 2024, 98 people took their own lives after experiencing domestic abuse, compared to 80 who were killed by a partner or ex. This is a devastating fact – but sadly, not a surprising one.
At Oasis, we work with women every day who, after years of abuse, come to us feeling broken, hopeless and sometimes suicidal. When someone you love constantly tells you that you’re worthless, a burden, or that no one will care if you’re gone, it’s easy to start believing it. The mental toll is heavy, and the impact on someone’s wellbeing can be deadly.
Yet these deaths by suicide are rarely treated as crimes. Perpetrators are seldom held accountable, leaving bereaved families without justice – and reinforcing the silence and isolation that so often surround domestic abuse.
The loved ones behind the headlines
In recent years, several high-profile cases have turned the spotlight on the devastating link between domestic abuse and suicide. These women were mothers and daughters whose lives were torn apart by abuse.
Kiena Dawes was just 23 years old when she took her own life following two harrowing years of violent, coercive abuse by her partner, Ryan Wellings. She endured repeated assaults, constant threats and isolation from friends and family. Prosecutors said a final physical attack in July 2022 “broke her.” In her final words, found on her phone after her death, Kiena wrote: “I was murdered. Ryan Wellings killed me.” Though he was convicted of coercive control and assault, he wasn’t held responsible for her death.
Chloe Holland, also 23, died in hospital in 2022 after attempting to take her life following more than a year of psychological torment by Marc Masterton. Chloe’s mother, Sharon, said: “He controlled who she spoke to, what friends she had, her phone, her money, her freedom. He even controlled when she saw her son.” Masterton was sentenced to just over three years for coercive and controlling behaviour.
Domestic abuse doesn’t just affect women – it can affect men too. While women are disproportionately impacted, men can also be victims of coercive control, emotional abuse and physical violence. Abuse can happen in any relationship, regardless of gender, sexuality or background.
Why the system is failing victims
Sharon launched a petition calling for a new manslaughter offence when victims of coercive control die by suicide. The Government declined to act, stating current laws are sufficient – a response that left families like Sharon’s devastated.
Sadly, these are not isolated cases. They are the consequence of a system that struggles to recognise the long-term psychological damage of domestic abuse and a justice process that too often allows perpetrators to walk free.
Shockingly, 68% of those who died by suicide after abuse were already known to services, yet their risk of suicide wasn’t identified or adequately addressed. This highlights missed opportunities and the urgent need for early intervention.
This crisis won’t end if we continue to treat domestic abuse, mental health and suicide as isolated issues.
What needs to change?
Survivors need joined-up, wraparound support that sees the full picture and identifies risk factors early. Professionals must recognise the signs of domestic abuse and understand its impact on a person’s mental health. They need to ask the right questions at the right time and provide the right support before more lives are lost.
We must raise awareness of the connection between domestic abuse and suicide. We must invest in prevention and early intervention, and ensure that professionals working in domestic abuse and mental health are trained in suicide prevention.
We must also fight for legislative change so that coercive, controlling partners can be held accountable when their abuse contributes to someone taking their own life.
And we must give survivors the compassionate, specialist support they need and deserve – including long-term, trauma-informed services.
Charities like Oasis are lifelines for so many
At Oasis, we’re committed to helping people break free from the cycle of abuse and rebuild their lives. We offer a range of support services, including emergency accommodation, one-on-one support from trained professionals, and access to legal and mental health services. Survivors are provided with a safe space to process their experiences and regain control. We also offer tailored support for children and young people affected by domestic abuse, ensuring that the entire family receives the care they need to heal and move forward.
One survivor shared: “I never thought I’d have a future after everything. But Oasis showed me I could rebuild and start again.”
Organisations like Oasis are lifelines to an increasing number of people, but they are under intense pressure. In 2022, Women’s Aid called for an additional £426 million to properly support survivors across the UK. Without it, organisations like ours struggle to meet the overwhelming demand for help, leaving many women and children without the support they so desperately need.
In Kent and Medway alone, we’ve seen a 40% increase in violence against women and girls in recent years. This mirrors a national trend where domestic abuse continues to destroy lives and devastate families.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, reach out – you are not alone. Together, we can create a safer future for everyone who is being harmed by a loved one behind closed doors.
For 24/7 advice call the free National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 2000 247.